Today is a special day.
In many ways, for many people. Some are born today, some die, some get married, some finish a book, some spend time with their loved ones, some get apart from them.
Some see a good movie, or read a nice book, or write a poem or just rest. And some others work.
To me, today is a special day because I woke up this morning and am here right now. (It´s been a while too.)
I´ve been asked a straight forward question today. Not only me, many people has been asked. The question was:
“In what world do you wish to live?”
The answers of the people truely surprized me. People visioned a world without language borders, with one single idiom, they wished for one religion, for peace and respect, for a system where there is no money. And at first sight it should seem easy to subscribe to all this, but somehow I didnt feel comfortable doing so.
I have spent quite a while thinking about working social systems, considering all the “human factors”, the technical and spiritual aspects, the creating and the destroying.
And I came up with some ideas, untill…. at some point it stopped to be my main topic. I do have some ideas, i do believe in that we can substacially better our life circumstances by giving and caring, say, taking part in the process in an active way. But I realize now that it is all thoughtwithin the context of THIS world.
So… here is the question: If you could wish for one (Or create one) - would you want to change the world?
Some years ago I made a trip to Jerusalem, a city I consider a boiling energetical center, a very intense place. Its energy is so dense you can almost touch it. There is a tradition, (like in many other places too) that you can send a message to God, writing it down on a paper and sticking the note into the stones of the Western wall.
I was angry and had a severe conflict with God. My life didnt go at all as I was expecting it to, things didnt work out, I felt lonely and disappointed. I went there to have a serious talk with him and ask him why was all this happening to me. Since i felt it was very unfair. So I marched there, to the wall, hurt and desperate - and paused.
I tried to collect my thoughts to put them out somehow. Nothing came to my mind, I went completly blank. I waited some more, tried to remember my anger, to illicite the negative emotions, I knew I could talk from there, but they were gone. I really wanted to have that talk. But I couldnt remember the words, i couldnt feel the pain, I couldnt reproduce the speech I prepared at home. Nothing.
I saw myself from the outside standing there, struggling in a world that suddenly felt perfect. I saw my own lack of faith, and my own darkness in a bright shiny world. And than I started to cry, and those tears felt relieving and fresh, washing away the darkness from me. My mind however was slower and it was still looking for words in its blankness.
Untill it finally found it. The one and only thing I could think of:
“Thank You” and I would repeat it again and again, “Thank You Thank You Thank You…” crying, feeling true gratitude, living a faith in the universe I just got to see.
It was just a minute. And eventually later on, I slipped back many times into my own darkness and anger. But that short while thought me something very important. It thought me the perfection of the world, the perfction of creation, the infinite possibilities and oportunities this place has to offer. The wideness and the tightness of the very same word. The ways it expands and contracts, pulsating on and on. The way how there is nothing really stable in it, how it is ever changing and yet perfect.
So today I am asked in what world I would like to live. And I realize that there is no other world I would want to change this one with. I Love the diversity, I Love the different languages, I Love the fact, that everyone experiences God differently. I think religion is necesary for many people and I dont mind that at all. And since I believe in contrast I think the darkness is just as much part of it. My life can have different qualities at different times and that is also thank to a world that is, as it is. I sure gonna learn from it, however it may turn out to be in the end.
That simple question woke my Love and passion for the world AS IT IS, and that makes this day very special.
And not only because of the many tens. :)
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Alter the Pool!
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